The freedom of choice in online dating feels like it should have come a long way since 1995 when Match.com, introduced a new way for people to find love. But if the ultimate goal of dating apps is to empower you to meet in real life so that you can find that connection that will hopefully lead to love – or even something more fleeting – then I would argue that it has taken a step backwards.
Whilst Match.com could argue that it is successful in helping it’s lonely hearts subscribers to find love through detailed profiles and self-acclaimed algorithms, there are plenty left with nowt to show for the hefty subscription fees it charges and to add insult to injury, there has been a recent and significant backlash against dating apps who claim to use scientifically proven algorithms.
What followed in its wake are the cooler, millennial backed apps, with all their gamification tactics and addictiveness. A majority of us got sucked in and allowed ourselves to become handcuffed in our ability to choose and we have become muzzled, swiping zombies.
Dating apps have us swiping like zombies.
Tinder, Bumble, Happn and Badoo – the major players in the online dating game – all restrict our choices when looking for Mr Right (or Mr Right Now). At a maximum, these apps allow us to filter by distance (2km or more), age and gender. But by gender I mean: men and women. Whilst Tinder allows you to add your gender expression to your profile, you still have to identify as a man or a woman. Not particularly helpful.
These apps give little space for users to list hobbies, interests or desirable characteristics in a partner and make it even harder by not offering a structure that helps you define who you are and what you want. It’s therefore often quite hard to decipher much about a person, particularly if they are too lazy to leave a detailed profile, or are just not confident enough in their ability to sound engaging in under 500 characters. We all need help.
Being engaging and charming is hard enough but trying to state what we are looking for in our profiles without writing some garbled nonsense that can make us sound desperate or worse, because we are trying so hard not sound too keen, we end up sounding like we’re up for anything (when we are not). Being vague, not being able to be clear about we want without fear of judgment, results in us matching, or being approached by people who don’t meet our criteria or standards. Time is wasted on both sides.
We know what we want so let us have it!
We naturally have a set of preferences and values. We like what we like and we like to think we know what we want! Choice, to be sure, can be a good thing. At a supermarket, we expect to be able to choose from different brands of products, at restaurants we expect to choose from a plethora of tasty options. We call our liking for all kinds of things –fashion, music or art – our taste. And this doesn’t stop short at our taste in our romantic or sexual partners. Which, I might add are unlikely to be the same thing!
So it sucks that existing online dating apps give us so much choice but no ability to be selective. Gamification and the goal of keeping us addicted to swiping in the app seem to be a far greater priority.
But wait, just when you thought is was all doom and gloom, we are here to tell you that we decided to break you from the shackles of Tinder-esque apps and put the power back in our own hands. Piin gives you the ability to filter the profiles you see and gives you the best possible chance to look for what you really want. From ethnicity, to religion, hair colour and body type it allows you to consider all of the factors that are important to you such as whether someone is interested in having a family or whether they casually take drugs at the weekend 🙂 Now, you might ask why this is different to Match.com. For starters it’s free. Secondly, you are able to can change your mind at any time about what you are looking for – be it a date, love, a casual encounter or a hangout – and you can change your preferred filters for that sought after match, for each type of encounter you are looking day by day, week by week…. it’s more flexible than Jane Fonda.
We say its OK to change your mind.
What we want one day can be totally different to what we want the next. Not only do we change our minds on the suitability of a match at a drop of a hat, but we often question whether or not we actually want to be in a relationship. We have visions of cuddling up on the sofa on long winter nights, then a week later the thought of being restricted or committed to one partner fills us with dread and all we want to do is to hang out with someone new, with no strings attached, maybe go on a few dates or if we are feeling fancy free and frisky – find a Friday night takeaway!
Choice is at the very heart of Piin. You can decide one day if you want to be picky and the next that you’re open to experimenting. You state what kind of romantic encounter you are looking for every time you check in; it’s flexible enough to roll with your state of mind and knows that day by day, what you want might change.
We love the fact that we are only shown and can only be seen, by others who want the same thing as us, at that particular moment in time. It removes have the headache, the awkward conversation about intent, disappointment when you realise he only wanted to hook-up and allows us to relax more quickly into just getting to know that person.
So, let Piin reflect your choices, whatever they might be.
You deserve it. Choose to be as selective or unfussy as you like. Only you know what your your ‘nice-to-haves versus your ‘non-negotiables’ are. Our advice is to always trust your gut and go with the flow. So go forth and meet new encounters with an open mind; but most importantly, have fun!